Game 1 - Winning Ugly is Still Winning

SAN ANTONIO, TX (AP) - It was a night of fanfare here at Alva Jo Softball Complex Opening Night, with the unveiling of new wireless scoreboards that actually work, ID checks, and charging $2 per spectator.  Did Time Warner take over this thing?  What next...no drinking in the parking lots?  Nevertheless, the evening was closed out with a matchup between the Angry Enchiladas and St. Losers on the schedule, and they did not disappoint.  The game had everything that the 2 spectators could ever want from a nightcap.  Base-running errors, fielding errors, throwing errors, fascinating umpiring by the Ike brothers, and late-inning drama.

The cheese tubes were, as Joe Namath put it, strug-gle-ing throughout the game, and it began in the first inning.  Cisneros hit a Willie Mays-Hayes ball into RCF, bringing up Thompson, who promptly muscled one to deep...Pitcher for a crowd-pleasing 1-6-3 DP.  "I'm no [expletive] stranger to the [expletive] DP...I just [expletive] usually like to [expletive] be on the [double expletive] giving end," said the coach.  J. Doege followed with the softest single since Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do," but got caught overrunning the bag on J. Adams' seeing-eye single, appearing to lose sight of where the ball was.  "I turned the bag and looked at the base coach.  Where'd he go?  The basecoach just said....where'd WHO go???."  So this is how a team gets 3 hits yet bats only 4 people in an inning, scoring no runs.  Impressive.

Wonnie Cross (1-0) got the start for the fart food, and went the distance...very consistent despite home plate umpire Ike Antcy's strike zone, erratic defense and his general Wonnie-ness.  He was helped out of a 2-on-2-out jam by a great over-the-shoulder catch from newly acquired shortstop C. Kay (no relation to the clothing designer).  "I was just glad to help the team out somehow, since I hit like a girl," said Kay.  Kay's expectant wife (and one of the 2 fans in the stands) would also pipe in "the baby is very disappointed to have to witness that kind of offensive production."  (get it?  offensive production?)  yeah.  ok.

Doege would lead off the third with a sharp single and apparently felt the need.  The need for speed.  Trying to stretch the single to a double and ignite his team, he was gunned down by a couple of feet.  Indeed you do need some speed, Mr. Doege...what were you thinking?  "out there on the basepaths, you don't have time to think.  If you think...you're dead."  Well, that's a helluva gamble with a 3-2 deficit.  The inning was salvaged as Hans would hit a 2-RBI double in the gap. The defense shored up a bit in the middle innings.  Adam threw a runner out at 3rd and almost had another one at the plate.  Gilpin would make a nice play at third.  The OF made some nice running catches, and Wonnie even knocked down a liner.

Down 8-6 in the last inning, disarray overcame the umpires.  McNew led off with a smash to LF.  Then the MexicanwearingaclassyHootersjersey formerly known as Clint Doege hit a sinking liner to center.  The ball clearly bounced before entering the CF's glove, yet Ike Antcy yelled "OUT," which confused McNew, who froze like he was on top of your mom and your dad entered the room.  Infield umpire Ike Anttalk said, well, nothing, so there was nothing fleet-footed McNew could do but be out.  The umps convened not once, not twice, but THREE times...and reversed the call three times.  Meanwhile, the clock was running out.

This nonsense played directly into the hands of the mentally strong furious flautas.  Cisneros hit a ball in the gap (probably the furthest he will hit a ball all year), and after Coach Danny made his token out, Doege walked, Adam singled and now despite going through great lengths to give the game away, it was just how Gilpin likes it...tight at the end.  When that happens, he hits it and hits it hard.  Boom...outta here.  11-8 Poop Makers.  Winning.

The encounter was an 11-10 victory, but I think we have show it as an example of what not to do on a softball field.  The box score is below, if I can figure out how to post it...

ANGRY ENCHILADAS
		AB	R	H	RBI	HR	BB	K	SB	AVG
T. CISNEROS	2B	3	2	3	0	0	1	0	0	1.000
D. THOMPSON	RCF	4	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.250
J. DOEGE	LF	2	1	2	1	0	1	0	0	1.000
J. ADAM	LCF	4	2	3	2	0	0	0	0	0.750
C. GILPIN	3B	4	1	3	4	1	0	0	0	0.750
L. CROSS	P	3	2	0	0	0	1	0	0	0.000
C. KAY	SS	3	2	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.333
J. HANS	1B	3	0	2	3	0	0	0	0	0.667
B. MCNEW	C	3	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.333
S. PICKUP	RF	3	1	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.333
TOTALS		32	11	17	11	1	3	0	0
BATTING
2B - CISNEROS, GILPIN, HANS
HR - GILPIN
RBI - DOEGE (1), ADAM 2 (2), GILPIN 4 (4), HANS 3 (3)
GIDP - THOMPSON
GAME DETAILS
UMPIRES:  HP - IKE ANTCY.  INF - IKE ANTALK
ATTENDANCE:  2