Showdown of the Undefeated? Fuggedaboutit

ENCHILADAS EMBARRASS IVF IN “SHOWDOWN”

SAN ANTONIO, TX (AP) – Ali/Frazier.  Duke/Kentucky.  AE Sports/IVF?  The two teams were undefeated going into Wednedsay’s behemoth matchup.  IVF had won their games by a combined score of 34-9 and the tortilla tubes had just given massive heartburn to their last opponent en route to a 13-1 win.  The unstoppable force meets JG’s forearm.  The drama.  The fanfare.  It lasted for three batters.  “Oompa” Doege ripped a first pitch double and refused to score on Cisneros’ ensuing single, setting the table for “Loompa” Doege.  With the wind blowing harder than Kelly Linebrink, Loompa would mash his first HR of the season, effectively ending the game and Gilpin’s night of excitement.  Clint, where has this power come from? 

“Y’all know me, still same CD, but now I hit three.  Gotta drive in these two runners before me, no wheels, and no speed.” 

The first inning turned out to be a Tarantino-esque bloodbath, with the furious flautas exploding for a season high 13 runs.  FIVE players would get two hits in the inning, including the aforementioned Oompa, who was on his way to a 5-for-5 evening by hitting a Steffi Graf topspin ball that glanced off Bill Dorn’s glove for a “hit” in his book.  The night has propelled him to a league leading average of .900.  He was asked about his performance thus far, keeping it simple and singling the opposition (and any ground life) to death, but begging for calls from the keeper.

“No bombs and no seeds.  No walks no double plays, no FC’s.  Mad at me cause I can finally get on base without walking so they call some Es.  Got a guy with some statsheets and it’s all full of hits.  Cuz that’s kinda game I spits.  And I’ll show you the place where the future hitting trophy sits.”  

The Doege Brothers are Jollily leading the Enchiladas on Offense

Well, that’s a lot of confidence, considering the company you’re in.  AE Sports now boasts four players with averages over .700.  They have started to flash some leather too.  The outfield has looked much more solid than Game 1, and Stephen Aniol moved over to 3B for the second half of this game.  To go along with a 4-for-4 night at the plate, Aniol knocked down a screaming nut-killer and made a nice play on a slow roller, with both ensuing throws causing 1B Hans to wish he hadn’t eaten so much fiber for lunch.  The play of the night was also made by Aniol, who for some reason in a 26-3 game, went full bore toward the light poles and caught a foul ball while taking a glancing blow.  “You %$&$-knockers can’t coach heart,” said Coach Thompson.  We caught up with Aniol after the game about that play.

“Did y’all think I’d let that ball drop?  Hoe, stop.  You cannot take me down with these guns  (points to arms).  Don’t you think I’m here to have fun?  Don’t you think I’m here to win some?  MVPs, Gold Gloves, and number one…and yes Ima get it done…make a run on title of the most home runs.”

Someone check the testosterone and HGH levels on that guy.  Still, at least they’re no longer mistaking him for Stephanie in the press box.  The two week devastation brings to question what the “good luck” charm of the Enchiladas is.  The groupie extraordinaire was missing from the stadium, yet the avalanche of hits poured on.  Two constants…bat boy Isaac was there for the second straight week….as was Eric Cervantes’ moustache.  Once again, there is no visual evidence that the Don Juan ladies’ lure actually exists, but it’s effects are unmistakable.  We asked him what was the reason?  Did he like it in the movie “Chocolat?”  Is it good luck?  What?  And for God’s sake…give us a photo op!

“Gave it some thought when I saw it . That’s not what I wanted to do. But when my hitting stats wasn’t doing too good, it’s the moustache that they told me to grow free.”

Excellent.  Hopefully we’ll see it next week, because rumor has it that we’ll not see Isaac the batboy due to overdose on worms, seeds, and learning too many “new words.”  That, or the Japsican is going to be out of state.  There were a couple of questions in the middle of the lineup.  In the 28 run annihilation, Jason Hans managed to score ZERO runs, the equivalent of going to the Tap and seeing no good looking girls.  How does that happen?  Well, there were 15 outs made by Enchilada hitters, and he and Wonnie (3-0) combined for 6 of them, or 40%.  Impressive.  Hans did come through with a 5 RBI day though.  Also questionable was the absence of the Wonnie Wunning Game, provider of so many good times throughout the course of the season.  We caught up with the sausage aficionado after the game, and baserunning is apparently not his favorite subject.

Wonnie not allowed to run on the basepaths = Tigger without bouncing

“Y’all better listen up closely.  All you people that said I can’t stop, my slides are flops, y’all are the reason that I ain’t been usin’ my speed.  Slowin’ down.  Base to base.  If y’all don’t like it…blow me!  Y’all are gonna keep makin’ more fun of me and turn me back to the old me.”

Well, that would be more fun.  It would also be more fun if all of you AE Sports guys would quit talking like Eminem.  Unless you were on the mad Mexican cannoli team tonight, it was no fun.  Tonight, it was man vs. food….and Food Wins.

Game Notes:  Jeremy Doege has 6 hits in a row now, and has made only one out (only one GD out!) this season.  Brian McNew brought sexy back with his patented 25 yard wedge shot for a single in the 3^rd.  Coach Thompson went 3-3 and filled out the stat sheet quite nicely.  He seems to love the 9-hole, whatever that means.  Chad Gilpin had a quiet night (partially because he switch hit), and probably wishes he could have a few more of those, having just added twins to his household.  

ANGRY ENCHILADAS
		AB	R	H	RBI	HR	BB	K	SB	AVG
J. DOEGE	LF	5	4	5	3	0	0	0	0	0.900
T. CISNEROS	2B	5	3	4	2	0	0	0	0	0.818
C. DOEGE	3B	5	3	2	4	1	0	0	0	0.429
J. ADAM	LCF	5	3	4	3	0	0	0	0	0.727
C. GILPIN	SS	5	2	3	1	0	0	0	0	0.667
J. HANS	DH	4	0	2	5	0	0	0	0	0.571
L. CROSS	P	5	2	2	1	0	0	0	0	0.455
S. ANIOL	1B	4	2	4	1	0	0	0	0	0.714
D. THOMPSON	RCF	3	3	3	1	0	1	0	0	0.455
E. CERVANTES	RF	3	3	2	4	0	0	0	0	0.400
B. MCNEW	C	4	3	2	2	0	0	0	0	0.429
TOTALS		48	28	33	27	1	1	0	0	0.593
BATTING
2B - CISNEROS (2), THOMPSON, DOEGE, ADAM, ANIOL
HR - C. DOEGE (1)
RBI - J. DOEGE 3 (4), CISNEROS 2 (3), C. DOEGE 4 (7), ADAM 3 (7), GILPIN (5), HANS 5 (8), CROSS (3), ANIOL (1), THOMPSON (2), CERVANTES 4 (4), MCNEW 2 (2)
GAME DETAILS
ATTENDANCE:  1